⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆

working in a small team

I've been working in a very small team the past 2 years. We are a very isolated little subgroup in our subdepartment, 3 people in total. There is not much that intersects with the work of the others really, so it is usually just us as a fairly independent little capsule.

There are many benefits to this that I can appreciate. It is definitely easier to get a hold of the group it its entirety, be it for physical meetings or online meetings. The communication traveled quicker and there were less people to consider and inform. Consensus was reached easier and quicker on many things. The small size permitted us to avoid anything super elaborate and time consuming to get everyone on the same page. Smaller teams can be cozier and closer with each other.

However, I think that I prefer a bigger team for my next opportunity, to avoid some of the pitfalls a smaller team has that I don't appreciate.

I do feel very lonely in this last aspect as a 27 year old, leftist, childfree, straight edge, vegan, lesbian woman dating someone who is trans, and with a vastly different outlook on money, owning a house, property, retirement, traveling etc. than my vastly older coworkers. They have children, are married, own a house, several cars, a garden, can retire somewhat comfortably, go on expensive vacations at least once a year, are cis, heterosexual, omnivorous, apolitical or right leaning, landlords, and so on. There is nothing we have in common aside from being white, and our work. I am automatically left out of many discussions or not asked things about my private life they ask each other or some other people in bigger work gettogethers because my life is fairly alien to them in comparison to their life, and they don't know what to say.

Not to mention that many aspects of my life are immediately classified as political or potentially inflammatory or causing conflict, or may make them feel defensive or guilty, so it is better not to talk about it. After all, I really don't want to talk about my veganism, I don't want to debate my sexuality or my girlfriend's gender, I don't want to talk about why I don't want to have children because all of these can be super touchy for everyone involved and it is not helpful to find out that your coworker may be homophobic (but I did; anyway..)

This really inhibits bonding and leaves me perpetually on the sideline. The place where I work has a very high age average and is very much populated by people who are considered the "normal, average" majority citizen, especially of their generation. It's therefore expected that the main topics and questions to be asked someone are about heterosexual marriage, one's children, pregnancy, their spouse, the next vacation, progress on house reparations and plans to improve it, and so on. Smoke breaks happen without me, obviously; gettogethers involve alcohol at most times and you are a weirdo for refusing it (last time they even put champagne into the juice glasses without warning people about it..) or barbecues; restaurants and cafés are not chosen with vegan options in mind even though they exist here. When they order pizza together, there is no pizza for me; if there is something to be celebrated, I am the one who cannot eat it or has to bring her own. My coworkers can eat in the cafeteria together, I usually have to bring my own meals because vegan dishes have been rare in our cafeteria and you are not permitted to bring your own along, so that leaves me out. Everything could be more accommodating, but if you are the minority, you are not worth considering and you are not on people's minds when they make decisions. And it's not like they don't know these things about me and have no chance to change - they know.

I hope one day I can find a workplace with a younger and more diverse demographic where I am not alone in some of these aspects of my life, or at least get the understanding and consideration I deserve; working in a bigger team for more stimulating exchange.

𓇽 ° . ༻ 𓈒 ꒪ ๋ ° .𓏲⠀ ๋࣭ ♡ ͘ ࣭⠀⸰ ⋆ ֗ ִ ᨒ .⋆゚. ͘ ࣭⠀⸰ ♡ 𓂂 ◌ 𓇽 ° . ๋ 𓂂 ⠀✼ 𓇽